Trying to be Okay
by wwex
Summary: After Kurt and Blaine separate, Blaine is hurt and doesn't have any place to go or any friends to talk to. When he realizes that he lost everything because of someone that was supposed to love him, he starts over. He must find a way to reconnect with his former best friend Sam so he can find happiness and learn to be who he really is.


Everything was a lie. The foundation on which we built our love crumbled because of a mistake. His mistake. His lies and deceit, after all these years, have surfaced. How can I love again? The one person that I loved and that I thought loved me has destroyed my idea of love and trust. Why would I give him everything?

Coming home from work, I dreaded seeing Kurt in our apartment. Well now my apartment now that he is moving in with his new significant other. I stood in front of the door as I heard him shuffling around the apartment. Taking a heavy breath, I opened the door to see boxes scattered everywhere. He was not wasting anytime. "Oh, Blaine. I didn't expect you home so soon". Kurt said with a chuckle. "I know that this is all a mess but I just want to get out your hair as soon as possible". He acts like I wanted this all to happen. "No, it's fine. You aren't bothering me at all". My lies were clear as Kurt looked at me and shook his head.

I went into our room to change but only to find that all my clothes were missing. "Kurt! Where are my clothes?" I yelled to him. He ran to over to me, "You see the previous arrangement we had just is not going to work. I really like this place and so does Chandler. I just can't let it go. So, I need you out like yesterday." He ran back into the living room. I stomped my way over to him, "What do you mean? You can't just do that! We had a deal Kurt!" He rolled his eyes and continued to grab random belongings, throwing them into boxes. He did not care if they were fragile but only that they were packed up and ready to leave. He was treating my belongings just like he treated my heart.

"Did you hear me Kurt?" I yelled to him. "Blaine, I heard you, but I'm choosing not respond to you as I honestly do not care!" He yelled back. "So, you don't care that I have nowhere to go? You said Chandler had a place that you guys could live in and you would leave me with this place. You cannot go back on your word." He sighed, "You know our lease was up two months ago, right? I went out of my way to resign today but I removed you. Therefore, you are no longer a legal tenant anymore." He pulled out the lease from his pocket and handed it to me. Examining the lease, I noticed that my name had been replaced with Chandler's. I looked up at Kurt with pure anger and hatred. "How dare you? How could you do this to me? How could you do this to us? You promised me that you loved me! You piece of shit!" I yelled to him. I clenched my fist and my breathing quickened. "Shut up Blaine! You have no right to yell at me like that!" He responded. I went to hit him but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I punched the wall behind him instead creating a massive hole. "Why did you do it Kurt?" I asked, tears running down my face. "I never loved you Blaine. I just loved the chase." He answered my question simplistically. His laugh took over his speech. "I changed everything for you." I muttered. "That isn't my fault. You were dumb enough to get involved with me." He spat. He pushed me aside and grabbed his keys. "Do you think you really my first? You would have never deserved that! Let's not forget who cheated originally Blaine." I looked at him with disgust. "That was years ago Kurt! I knew I was wrong and admitted it like a man! Plus, you act like I wanted to sleep with him. You were never available to me. I needed attention and you did not care." I said. He rolled his eyes, "I'll give you until the end of next week Blaine. If you aren't out by then, I'll call the cops!" He walked out, slamming the door behind him.

I fell to the floor crying. My tears could end the drought in California. I looked to the side of me to find a picture of Kurt and I on our wedding day. The day that we promised each other eternity. Crazy how things can change. I ripped the picture and continued where he left off, packing every single one of my belongings. Kurt had finished most of the packing, I just need to get my memorabilia and other items. I proceeded to just throw my things in boxes.

I needed a release. With Kurt out of the house, I could finally get off. God knows I haven't felt pleasure in months. I went to the room and stripped down and laid on the bed. I looked down and my dick was hard and throbbing. I spit on my hand and began to stroke it. Moving my hand up and down, I got harder and harder. Rubbing the tip while I moved my left hand to my nipple and began to play with it made the pre-cum ooze from my throbbing member. I pinched my nipple and twisted it as hit got harder. I slapped my dick against my stomach and spit on it some more. I cupped my balls and continued to stroke. I squeezed my dick to allow my pre-cum to become my lubricant. I started to stroke faster and faster. "Fuck!" I yelled as I came. I must have really been backed up. This is the most I have ever came. I laid there breathing fast. Man, did that feel good. I got up and went to the bathroom to shower.

I turned on the shower and started to clean my little mess. My phone started to vibrate in the other room. I walked over to it, surprised to see the name on the screen. Sam Evans. The man I haven't spoken to in years. The man the Kurt made me remove from my life. I answered the phone, "Hello", I said with hesitance. "Uh, hey bud. Uh, damn, sorry, shouldn't have called." With that, Sam ended the call. How random was that? I decided to text him. "Everything okay Sam?" The text read. I put the phone down and entered the shower.

As the warm water hit my body, the tension from my back left. The gel disappearing from my hair, allowing my curls to bounce. I felt natural. As happy as I was, I couldn't help but think about my last conversation with Sam.

Flashback

Sam and I walked through the park after our dinner at breadsticks. "So, Blaine, how are things in New York." Sam asked. "Things are good!" I replied enthusiastically. "Kurt and I are doing more in love than ever and work is good!" I lied. "Well, that's good bro. I mean you guys have always been good together so I'm happy that you guys are happy." Sam said. I smiled at him and his eyes began to water. "What's wrong Sam?" I asked with concern. He sat on nearby bench and looked up at me. "Blaine. I'm not happy with my life. I need to confess something. I-" As soon as Sam was about to finish his thought he was interrupted. "Blaine!" I heard Kurt yelled. He ran over to me and Sam, breathing heavily. "Are you okay?" I asked. He looked at Sam evilly. "No! Why are you with him? Let's go!" Kurt yelled at me. "What are you talking about?" Sam questioned as he jumped up. "I don't owe you an explanation trouty mouth!" Kurt responded while pulling me away from Sam. "Shit Kurt, stop!" I yelled. "What is your problem?" I asked. "He is the problem. Your little bestie has no respect and I am sick of it! Now, if you want to continue our relationship you will leave with me, if you don't stay here with him." Kurt walked away. This ultimatum was what ended my friendship with Sam. I left with Kurt and didn't look back. 

The vibration of my phone took me away from my thoughts. I turned off the shower and dried myself off and ran to the phone. Unfortunately, it wasn't Sam. However, it was someone who I never had any real interaction with. Quinn Fabray.


End file.
